Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize