He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
