I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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