Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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