If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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