im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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