it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
So much rum. So many feels.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
