We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
