No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Randomize
