At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
