"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
he had hair everywhere except his balls
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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