So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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