If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
