direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Randomize