well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
