I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
