i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Randomize
