I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
