i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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