Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
We need to feng shui this bitch.
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