It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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