Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
