Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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