You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
