dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Randomize
