im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Randomize
