i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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