do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
