walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Randomize