God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize