so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
whose ass print is on the piano?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
