My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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