Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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