So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
