im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I'm always down for nudity.
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