You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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