carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize