So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
