If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
