at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
