ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
