Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Randomize
