They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
We're too hungover to prance.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I pour the whiskey from now on
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
