Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
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