Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize