So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
