I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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