Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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