I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
