dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
