You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
