I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
