Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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