We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
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