real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
