Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
did i walk over a car last night?
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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