i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
