I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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