And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
