I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
