Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
