I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
