I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
