Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
If that was your dad, he is hot
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
