hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize