she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
