I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
