How'd it feel making her break her religion?
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize