do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
