I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
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