You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
